tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28837432506037398552024-03-05T00:15:43.472-08:00My Two Cents CanadianWhere I post my thoughts on politics, products and whatever else I feel like ranting about on a given day.Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-29573761392115661852016-08-16T09:25:00.001-07:002016-08-16T09:25:44.508-07:00[Rambling thoughts] Feminism - the two busses. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaG6j0Mp3Sbutv6kHIog7zWByzJHlowh4yFgzpmx1UGnyfqZ8iQphZzahpgaa8M_pPC04v68M_fLnMyL4cvX1JrcjSBaOyZvsw43wk1WVBpbFbboDfbQSA7YGkg2Q739i6LSt52r8ups1Z/s1600/ap341630285931.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaG6j0Mp3Sbutv6kHIog7zWByzJHlowh4yFgzpmx1UGnyfqZ8iQphZzahpgaa8M_pPC04v68M_fLnMyL4cvX1JrcjSBaOyZvsw43wk1WVBpbFbboDfbQSA7YGkg2Q739i6LSt52r8ups1Z/s400/ap341630285931.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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There seems to be a general consensus that feminism is about taking things
away from men, about putting them in a lesser position. (I guess where women are
now even if they won't admit it?) That's hardly accurate and I'll probably not
be the first or last person to say so.</div>
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Imagine, if you will, that there's two busses. One bus has soft cloth
seats, with padding. This bus has free wifi, a monthly discount plan, air
conditioning, and customized stops. Sure, it sometimes breaks down, or gets a
flat tire, but it, over all, is a pretty nice bus. The other bus is one of
those old and rattly vehicles that has windows that barely opens, cracked
plastic seating, and you have to pay a separate fare for it and the train.
Needless to say, you'd want on the first bus, right? But what if we could make
BOTH busses that awesome? That's what feminism is about. It's not about taking
things from anyone, or crowding everyone in and restricting resources, it's
about there being the same treatment across the board.</div>
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The trouble comes, of course, when capitalism raises it's ugly head. The
status quo makes money. That old bus costs less to run and they can get away
with running it, it's just the women's bus, after all. Feminists say "Oi, no,
everyone gets air conditioning when it's 109F outside thankyouverymuch."</div>
Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-51571816611850957502016-06-04T15:51:00.000-07:002016-06-04T15:56:28.422-07:00[Personal Rant] My problem with 'Hail Hydra'<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Ward: "I was on a mission. It wasn't personal." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Skye: "It wasn't… you did not just say that! It wasn't personal?!" </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Ward: "Skye, listen to me." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Skye: "God, you might actually believe that. You…that is… that is the twisted logic that they teach you when you sign up to be a Nazi." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Ward: "Stop. Wait. I'm not a Nazi." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Skye: "Yes, you are. That is exactly what you are. It's in the S.H.I.E.L.D. handbook, chapter one. The Red Skull—founder of HYDRA—was a big fat freakin' Nazi." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Ward: "That has nothing to do with today." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> Skye: "You know, you always had that Hitler Youth look to you, so it's really not that surprising." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> -Ward and Skye discuss his loyalties, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D</span></span></blockquote>
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I wasn't going to post this. I wasn't going to continue to the rock the boat, but friend Dan made a post about how people can P*(&#! off about what he posts on HIS Facebook wall and I'm like.. y'know, what, damn straight! (Disclaimer : Dan used nicer terminology.) If I have something to say - I'm gonna say it. And if you don't like it, piss off. There's the door. I'll pretend to miss you when you leave. That's not to say I don't mind healthy discourse, but when it's just one person standing on the shoulders of privilege telling people to suck it up because it's "just whatever" .. I'm going to give them the middle finger.<br />
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So. A Facebook friend PM'd me to ask why I had a problem with the phrase Hail Hydra. (No, it wasn't who you may think it was.) In fact, they said 'You're not a Jew, why do you care?' (This person is now blocked, btw). There's just so many things wrong with that statement and that question. Why do I have to be Jewish (or Romani, or any other minority the Nazis persecuted) to care about the horrors done to millions of people. (Yes white supremacists, bad news, they are in fact people.) Why do I have to be Jewish (or a PoC, or..) to care about the atrocities committed being turned into jokes and meme's? I don't think I have to be.<br />
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My issue with 'Hail Hydra' is the same as my issue with rape jokes. You're taking something that destroyed lives (and in this case, generations of families) and making light of it. You're dismissing the pain, the suffering, the horror endured, to make a joke, to gain some attention or to make a buck. It's no coincidence that Hydra was created by two Jewish men as a part of the Nazi army. It's no coincidence that 'Hail Hydra' is so similar to 'Hail Hitler.' When you remove the seriousness of an attrocity committed against other humans, it makes it seem like a less serious crime. (Sorry - 'It's not rape if you yell surprise first!' never was, and never will be, funny.)<br />
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So no, when it comes to that kind of 'humour' that is at the expense of the victims and those that suffered, you will find I will not 'lighten up.' I will not 'sit down and shut up' and I will not let people forget history to repeat it. If you want to think a thinly veiled 'Hail Hitler' is amusing, you go right ahead.. and I'll go right ahead thinking you're a spoiled, closed minded, bigot.<br />
<br />Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-80476354885331568412016-02-19T12:05:00.000-08:002016-02-19T12:05:39.568-08:00[WoW Post] Leensa's Guide to Holy Pally Healing.For lack of a better place to put this - I shove it here.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAFTCVUoo7W_y8-wO686MwBekjbtztgTN_lmroaGfB5VWc36IhJGfzRF9LOfA8VhTw_gEnTP3aezUAKBGTWxDsDOK0Pqa0FvZeKt-NRCZp03gCbfqkY35O_PIiapikj1M7JAOYdvvNoN46/s1600/UI2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAFTCVUoo7W_y8-wO686MwBekjbtztgTN_lmroaGfB5VWc36IhJGfzRF9LOfA8VhTw_gEnTP3aezUAKBGTWxDsDOK0Pqa0FvZeKt-NRCZp03gCbfqkY35O_PIiapikj1M7JAOYdvvNoN46/s400/UI2.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Most of what I learned in healing, I learned playing a druid in Everquest and so every healer I've played since, I've based off that. So it's a mix of muscle memory and how an Everquest druid works. This is probably not the most efficient method of playing a holy paladin in World of Warcraft, but it works for me!</div>
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Above you can see my UI. It's a pretty standard UI. Yaks will mock it, but it works for me.</div>
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Top left is me. Aren't I a pretty little blood elf? (Snort.)</div>
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On the central left is the standard, built-in, raid UI. There are healing UI add-ons that enable mouse-over function so you can skip over the making of macros and stuff to do what I do, I just couldn't be arsed to learn them. They'd replace that UI.</div>
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Bottom left is the in game standard chat box. Ooo. Ahhh. Ohhh.<br />
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Bottom center is my hotkeys. I have them shrunk to 90% UI standard via the Dominos add-on. That's on top of my UI being shrunk via interface to 90%.<br />
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Top right is my chat box. All communication channels and emotes go up there so I'm not searching through spam for the important stuff. General chat often gets moved out of there while I'm raiding since people can be chatty and distracting when I'm trying to not dump green fel on top of the purple. (Apparently your raid mates get upset when you blow them all up.) This is a left over from EQ where I had something like 8 chat windows.<br />
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Center right is the hotkeys I never need to press in any particular hurry but am too lazy to dig up every time I want to use them.<br />
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All very exciting right?<br />
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The macros I use to heal people (etc) on mouse over are :<br />
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#showtooltip Flash of Light<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Flash of Light<br />
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#showtooltip Holy Light<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Holy Light<br />
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#showtooltip Eternal Flame<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Eternal Flame<br />
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#showtooltip Holy Shock<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Holy Shock<br />
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#showtooltip Holy Radiance<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Holy Radiance<br />
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#showtooltip Cleanse<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Cleanse<br />
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#showtooltip Lay on Hands<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Lay on Hands<br />
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#showtooltip Hand of Sacrifice<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Hand of Sacrifice<br />
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#showtooltip Hand of Protection<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Hand of Protection<br />
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#showtooltip Hand of Freedom<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Hand of Freedom<br />
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#showtooltip Redemption<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Redemption<br />
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#showtooltip Beacon of Light<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Beacon of Light<br />
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#showtooltip Beacon of Faith<br />
/use [@mouseover,help,nodead][help,nodead][@Leensa] Beacon of Faith</blockquote>
Change "Leensa" to your character's name if you copy them. These let you just move your mouse to the person you want to heal (or whatever.) and hit the relevant hotkey. I guess this reveals to Crunch I'm not ACTUALLY a full time clicker.<br />
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I'm told there's weirdos that change their talents around based on
fights for more efficent healing. As I'm incredibly lazy, I don't do
this. My talents are as follows : <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8dKOUZuJudhKjbhv2GN8vmvm850sKwVQ0Kbo_5qDr5wsTu49bhcNyrYay7sFSFBryIkupt8d0DpG6D5DVlkY-dvz-VquSY7zg6vo5vzoTI4YltwwUINWkMZOYKDGs_6LR341vHdIj_pgW/s1600/talents.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8dKOUZuJudhKjbhv2GN8vmvm850sKwVQ0Kbo_5qDr5wsTu49bhcNyrYay7sFSFBryIkupt8d0DpG6D5DVlkY-dvz-VquSY7zg6vo5vzoTI4YltwwUINWkMZOYKDGs_6LR341vHdIj_pgW/s320/talents.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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So when to use what? There's a certain amount of "Spellflash says use this" that I'll use. Or if I'm being lazy I'll spam a group heal instead of using Holy Light. But the gist is :<br />
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Holy Light is your base spell. When in doubt, use this.<br />
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Bacon both tanks. (The Beacon of Faith talent gives you a second bacon.)<br />
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Cast Holy Light on both tanks during pre-pull to give them an absorption shield. (I mostly remember to do this.)<br />
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I generally heal peeps with Eternal Flame if it's up, Holy Light if it's not, when they get between 90 and 95 with a tank, then healer, then DPS priority. This'll top the person up and give them an absorption shield. If they hit 50 percent, I'll use Holy Shock, or Flash of Light if Holy Shock is down.<br />
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If a bunch of people are hurting, I'll fire off a Holy Prism if it's up. If half the raid looks like it's pain, I'll cast Light of Dawn or Holy Radiance if Light of Dawn is down.<br />
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I will use Lay on Hands if I notice someone is about to splatter across the landscape. Obviously I give tanks and healers the preference if I have to choose between two, but I'll throw it on just about anyone. (Even hunters.)<br />
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Avenging Wrath ("Give me pretty wings!") I'll use when the big ugly is doing his powerful stuff OR when a bunch of people are dropping rapidly. I typically follow up with a bunch of Light of Dawn or Holy Radiances.<br />
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Devotion Aura I'll use when the raid leader tells me to (e.g. "First pounding, devo.") or when a majority of the raid hits about 50% and I need to buy time. A lot of the time I end up overkilling and using Avenging Wrath and Devotion Aura at the same time.<br />
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I will Hand of Sacrifice a tank when they hit fifty percent, especially if they're dropping fast.<br />
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I am trying, now, to Hand of Protection, my fellow healers if they're getting beat up. I'll also HoP random DPS during trash if they're being cocky about their DPS.<br />
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And finally Divine Shield (Bubble) when shit is going sideways and I am getting beat up big time. <br />
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When I have absolutely nothing else to do, I will throw Denounce at the big bad or his adds, along with a Fist of Justice on any mobs looking my way.<br />
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Yaks once gave the advice of 'Always be casting' and it is true! There's ALWAYS something you can be doing!
Unless you're ret - then you're just waiting for cool downs.
Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-84660202388857376802015-09-24T18:42:00.003-07:002015-09-24T18:42:51.711-07:00How I spent my 40th birthday.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtrdob-BpZcMYzQGBYSr5u7oHfux7EJfhl1gd-l9Xrde3wj4mzUnpzxRM6Mh4-WZffvp6YnsY9v6Er4LcZAie82lbZKusANZGt284gSmWHOyH0nXJYqnUfmE3obDw0NtQ5SnvPKmxacjH3/s1600/original.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtrdob-BpZcMYzQGBYSr5u7oHfux7EJfhl1gd-l9Xrde3wj4mzUnpzxRM6Mh4-WZffvp6YnsY9v6Er4LcZAie82lbZKusANZGt284gSmWHOyH0nXJYqnUfmE3obDw0NtQ5SnvPKmxacjH3/s320/original.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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No secret to the masses that I have chronic health issues. One of the ones
that has been getting steadily worse over the years is digestive issues. I'd
finally gotten a diagnosis and was going to be O.K. (Ha.) Sunday I'd been sick,
but cream in my coffee was the likely culprit. Monday I was okay. Tuesday I was
feeling gross but managed to some walking on the treadmill. Wednesday, my 40th
birthday, I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed. (So to speak.)</div>
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I had guilt tripped my introverted family into being seen in public with
me. They'd agreed to a dinner. My brother had even agreed to chauffeur so I
could have a drink with dinner. I had plots (and plans) to rope one of my
friends into getting a family picture for us. I had gathered as many friends who
were able to be out on a Wednesday night. Far too many of my friends have early
morning jobs. (What are they thinking?!)</div>
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My stomach started grumbling it's complaints around four. I was to leave to
drive to my brothers in less than an hour. I decided it was just anxiety about
seeing so many people and eating somewhere new(ish). Denial is the first step,
right?</div>
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By five, I told my stomach to shut up it's complaints and I headed out the
door. It was crampy, but I figured, eh, I can push through. I'd managed math
class with worse as a teen! (This is somehow relevant, brain?) Deep breathing
helped. I was alright till I made it across the Sumas canals. (About fifteen
minutes from home for the foreigners.) That is about when I had to pull over
and evacuate everything I'd ever eaten.</div>
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Let me tell you, if you want to meet a lot of nice people, pull over to the
side of the highway and start chucking your cookies. I met a nice couple from
Montana who offered to let me have a lie down in their R.V. I met a nice lady
from Abbotsford who offered to take me to call an ambulance. I met a very nice
RCMP who asked me all sorts of questions. </div>
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No, I hadn't been drinking. No, I hadn't done any drugs. No, I don't need
to go to the hospital, I explained. Explaining that I had a liver condition that
caused nausea and IBS symptoms got me the "You sure you're not a drunk?" look.
But, suspicion of cause aside, she was a very nice Mountie. She offered to drive
me to the hospital. I said I didn't want to puke in her cruiser. She said I
wouldn't be the first. (Ew.) I was also concerned about abandoning my car by the
side of the highway. Eventually we negotiated to she would follow me home. (I
didn't get to keep her.)</div>
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Before I started my car, I got to text my brother and ask him to let
everyone know I wouldn't make my own party. As he was on his way home from work,
there was limited amounts he could do. I could only hope we'd catch the
majority. </div>
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I got home. It wasn't a fun drive. Lady Mountie made sure I got in the door
okay. I spent the majority of the evening being incredibly sick, trying to put
up a brave face on social media and appreciating what wonderfully understanding
and forgiving friends I have.</div>
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I've had to abandon friends early, I've had to cancel plans on short
notice, I've had to do all sorts of socially frowned upon things due to illness
or pain. Being chronically ill just sucks and don't let anyone ever try to
convince you otherwise.</div>
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Same time next year, right friends and family? I'll try to be at my own
party this time.</div>
Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-73480184986623069302014-07-25T13:37:00.003-07:002014-07-25T13:37:52.814-07:00[Personal Ramble] Cancer attacks the nice gene.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sometimes I think Cancer looks for the nice gene.<br />
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I recently lost another friend to cancer, bringing the count up to four. I'm lucky, that count is much lower than some people's. All of the people I lost, however, were wonderful people. They were givers, they wanted to help others, they wanted to save lost animals, they wanted to help up the fallen. They were a shoulder to lean on, an ear to cry to, and often very good voices of wisdom. When you go to them to offer them a shoulder in return they just smiled and said they'd rather concentrate on something not their own problems and try to help you with yours. <br />
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I have chronic pain (pain that never goes away), I have mobility issues, I have brain issues, but none of them are likely to kill me any time soon. I have three friends who are in remission but never quite know and two friends deep in treatment who I'm very scared for. Again, all of them are very nice and wonderful people. They were wonderful before the cancer and have become even more so during the fight. When I was looking for a ride to/from the hospital for my surgery one of those in chemo friends offered to drive an hour and a half each way to help me out, offered to stay on my ridiculously uncomfortable futon to watch me for the night, and then go home. That's above and beyond. I had another friend, in remission, offer to drive further to do similar.<br />
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Obviously, I have some pretty awesome friends.<br />
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I'm selfish. I don't want to be worrying about my friends. I don't want them to be sick. They don't deserve to be sick. They deserve to healthy, happy, bouncy, friendly, generous, caring individuals who get to live without tubes and tests. <br />
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But why does cancer attack them? I can only figure it looks for people with the nice gene and goes for them first. Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-51639820368146889352014-07-11T11:30:00.002-07:002014-07-11T11:30:48.595-07:00[Personal Ramble] Empathy.<br />
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<br />I can tell you the exact day I learned empathy. I was in the shower trying to wash my hair. I had recently smashed my elbow into chunks in an attempt to roller blade. I couldn't do it, my elbow just wouldn't work so I couldn't wash my my hair. Previous to this, I'd just worked through the pain, put on a stiff upper lip, sucked it up, and a whole host of other phrases that meant 'don't be a wimp, you could do it if you really wanted to.' Well, I really wanted to wash my hair, but it wasn't happening. My body just wasn't cooperating with me, I physically could not wash my hair. My Mum must have heard me crying or just fumbling because she knocked on the door and asked if I needed help and I said yes. She ended up washing my hair for me. I think what I most remember is that my RN mother didn't ask if I *wanted* help, but did I *need* help. There's a significant difference.<br /><br />To this day the phrase 'suck it up' screams of a lack of empathy to me. The 'I don't want to deal with your problems, so just make your problems go away' attitude. Yes, sure, a lot of times someone can just push through and work through the problem and do it. But, what is wrong with them working around the problem, doing it a different way? Why should someone deal with true distress rather than finding another route? And what if they can't suck it up to make it go away?<br /><br />I was recently told by a friend that I CHOSE this life. She never did explain how I chose to fark up my back, be bipolar or get fibromyalgia amongst a host of other problems, but apparently I'm a lay about who mooches off the face of society. I guess I should suck it up.<br /><br />It never ceases to amaze me the attitudes when it comes to welfare and disability. In most people's mind they seem to think welfare is a trip to easy street. I haven't looked at the process in the last ten years, but it was ridiculously hard back then, I doubt it's gotten any easier under our conservative "BC Liberal Party." Disability is even harder to get. People seem to think that once you get your cheque you're happy to sit on your ass and never work again. I can't speak for anyone else, but I get bored, I get restless, I start bouncing off the walls. I get depressed. And I go find work, I work for a while and I fail at it. My last on the job attempt I had an orthosurgeon tell me to stop or I'd be having more back surgery before I'm 40. ("I'm 38." "Exactly.") Online attempts go even worse. But I should suck it up, right? I should be able to just magically make my body and mind work right and enable me to be a productive member of society.<br /><br />As much as I wish people without empathy could understand that you can't just magically make your body work when it betrays you, I'm also kind of happy they can't understand. It means they haven't had the trauma or tragedy that would bring the understanding. It means they've always been able to "suck it up" and plow through. The other thing they never seem to consider is just because one person works one way and can work past x to do y, it doesn't mean another can. If all of our bodies worked the same way, if we all could do everything if we just wanted to and worked on it, we'd all be throwing 100 mp/h fast balls in the MLB.<br /><br />And of course, by posting this, I'm sure I'm just adding to my "drama whore" reputation. But that's okay, my fellow sufferers can relate and we all know we're not alone and would help wash each others hair as necessary.Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-54799867326926537672014-03-09T13:27:00.003-07:002014-03-10T01:44:15.438-07:00[Personal Rant] Me and Education.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I loved my teachers - they were awesome people, but yeah.<br />
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When we came to Canada, the Edmonton Public School System insisted my brother and I be put in with our age groups rather than tested to see where we were educationally. I sat on my ass and didn't learn a dang thing for over two years. I was bored, I was restless, I had no interest in doing work I already knew how to do.<br />
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By the time I hit high school (grades eight through twelve) I'd managed to learn to fake my way through the stuff I could care less about or already knew so I could just sit and read instead. My attitude was, if I bring home a 96%, I get a 'What happened to the other 4%?' so what's the difference between that and a 'What happened to the other 20%'? I may as well read and enjoy myself.<br />
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I learned to do the absolute bare minimum of the crap to get to the good stuff. I excelled at anything that involved reading or writing since those were my interests, I bombed at anything that required dry reading and spewing forth back what I'd read. Why should I write out the seven different types of glaciers when you can just look in a book? If I were writing a report on Archduke Ferdinand, I would look up the dates before I published the report, it's been well established, so why should I remember them? It was an exercise in recitation, not learning, to me. That the government said I HAD to learn certain things seemed silly. I enjoyed courses like Business Education and Consumer Education that taught us practical use of money, how to buy a car, how to shop for real estate, practical every day things we would use. Things that you can't pick up in a book.<br />
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By the time I hit grade 10, I was skipping classes. I was BORED. They didn't challenge me. I learned more online than I ever did in school. I learned more at the library. I learned more from my older than me friends. I learned more from observation of people. I took courses early. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Trying to do grade 11 physics with only the knowledge of grade 9 math is a no go. I tried it again when I was just starting to learn grade 10 math. But the class, both times, very quickly left me behind. The other students already learned things like formulas and how to manipulate them while I was struggling with trying to memorize all the various variations of the formulas. Half the time I wasn't told all the variations because it was assumed I already knew how to find them on my own. It hit my teen age ego pretty hard that I couldn't do this, it didn't even occur to me I couldn't do it because I didn't have the prerequisite knowledge, I just thought it was because I wasn't a science or math person. To this day I still don't associate myself with the ability to do anything math related. I can do algebra in my head, but I'm not a math person. I saw my brother seemingly sailing through the maths and sciences and getting the praise of my parents while I was getting told I wasn't trying hard enough. In most cases, that'd have been true, but in this case, I was trying to climb a mountain with no rope.<br />
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I skipped more and more classes through grade 11 and grade 12. I got asked 'why' a lot, but how do you tell your teachers that you're bored? How do you confide anything in parents when your parents just turn around to the teachers and say "She says she's BORED." which just insults the teachers. I didn't want to insult my teachers, I liked my teachers. I knew if I had a problem I could identify or they could fix, they'd be there for me. I, however, also knew that they were trapped by the system. They had to teach for the provincial testing at the end of the semester. They had to have us know certain things in certain ways by a certain time. They had 32 - 35 students per class to teach this to.<br />
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They were trying their best for me, but I'd become so disconnected and so out of caring by that point, there wasn't much they could do. It didn't help hearing "Your brother could.." or "Your brother scored.." Dave is a wonderful, generous, kind, and fantastic big brother. He's a very intelligent, very quick witted, and very driven individual. He retains knowledge like a sponge does water. I'm a lot like my brother, but I don't have his drive and stubbornness for completing things. If I don't see a point to something, I just won't do it. Self-defeating, but there it is. I didn't see the point in counting thirty-seven beans the book just told us there were thirty-seven of, so I wouldn't count and would get a crappy grade.<br />
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It was never the fault of the teachers. They tried. In my years in school I met only a few teachers I actively disliked, and that's because they didn't listen. Hindsight tells me they were burned out by the demands and the system and were now just going through the motions. Of course, they may also have been frustrated with the strange child/teen who did the bare minimum to get a C+ or B , who could have achieved much better grades but had far more interest in computers than already long established facts. But they tried.<br />
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Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-60490301776305762142014-03-09T12:42:00.000-07:002014-03-10T01:44:59.747-07:00[Personal Rant] House of Cards Review.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So - I watched the first season of House of Cards. I didn't enjoy it. I wouldn't say I didn't like it, but I didn't dislike it either. I think, mostly, because it didn't cause any huge emotional reaction in me either way.<br /><br />It didn't touch me. Mini-spoiler, but the first scene pretty much summed up the show to me. A dog is hit by a car (hit and run), the Congressman and his security agent find the dog and the Congressman kills it to put it out of its misery. And the first thought that hit my head was "TAKE IT TO A VET, YOU *Q&#*!!E#@#!" The dog was alive enough to be whimpering, it was probably alive enough to be treated. Guarantee of saving? Of course not, but just killing it yourself? The scene was probably supposed to establish the Congressman as a practical, driven, man. That wasn't at all all the impression it left *me* with.<br /><br />Without further spoilering, my other issue was the story-telling. It's very much like you're traveling down highway 1, and you're watching the scenery, you stop at a few small towns, you enjoy the quaint cupcakes, and then BAM! Oh, sorry, you were on Highway 3 all along. No, there was no indication that town of Millbury was actually Luxersen, but y'know just deal. Fine, okay, a little shock/suspense is okay, so Highway 3, got it. Oh, no, sorry, Highway 3 is actually Highway 17, you can tell by the complete lack of evidence ever given. The constant changing of tracks with no evidence or forewarning makes me so much less likely to engage the story in the future. What's the point? It's already been established as a lie three times.Yes, it makes sense, yes it fits, but no foreshadowing? No weaving it in, just bam, change? No thank you.<br /><br />I also seriously don't get why Claire stays with her husband. At every turn he says its a partnership, but it's never about her wants or needs, they always take a backseat. Its always about his path, his power, she just gets to come along for the ride and enjoy it. She's either in it for a bask at his power, or she's deluded and I can't decide which. It strikes me as an emotionally abusive relationship and the only way you could get me to watch season two would be the word "Oh, she leaves him and totally owns his ass."<br /><br />However, since the patriaricial writing will doubtfully not do that, it all really adds up to the chances of my watching season two being somewhere between none and non-existent.<br /><br />The show would make much more sense if it were about Putin's rise to power than a Congressman's attempt. Seriously.Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-61942671141935966192014-02-10T14:17:00.000-08:002014-04-26T13:55:00.282-07:00[Humour] Valentine's Day.<div>
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Some Valentine's poems to help you get ready!<br /><br /><br /><br />1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:<br /><br />Marrying you has screwed up my life.<br /><br />2. I see your face when I am dreaming.<br /><br />That's why I always wake up screaming.<br /><br />3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;<br /><br />This describes everything you are not.<br /><br />4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,<br /><br />But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.<br /><br />5. I thought that I could love no other<br /><br />-- that is until I met your brother.<br /><br />6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.<br /><br />But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's<br /><br />empty and so is your head.<br /><br />7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;<br /><br />But don't take that paper bag off your face.<br /><br />8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes<br /><br />Damn, I'm good at telling lies!<br /><br />9. My love, you take my breath away.<br /><br />What have you stepped in to smell this way?<br /><br />10. My feelings for you no words can tell,<br /><br />Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'<br /><br />11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?<br /><br />Two parts vodka, one part lime.Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-41340190767324819892014-01-28T17:29:00.000-08:002014-01-28T17:29:58.715-08:00[Consumer Rant] Why I (still) don't have a smart phone.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I went into the Rogers Plus store on December 30th to open an account and get a new phone. I wanted a Blackberry for the external keyboard. The very nice gentleman, Kyle, politely recommended I consider an Android device but I said no, I want the keyboard. He said okee dokee, if that's what I want. He then tried to open my account. After spending over an hour and a half on the phone with one agent after another we find the reason I can't get an account without a $200 deposit is because I owe $34 to Fido. If I'd been smart I'd have phoned Fido and paid them by credit card then and there. Instead, I decided I needed to investigate.<br /><br />I tried the Fido store in the local mall, but their entire purpose, like the useless Rogers Kiosk, is to sell phones. They're representatives, they're not even corporate. So I phone. Basically, it boiled down to my LG Neon died so I ended my contract early. When the contract end date game up, there was an additional charge and that notification went to the address on file. That address, at that point, was a burnt husk of a trailer. My forwarding was no longer in effect, so who knows where that notification ended up. I never received it. Fine, whatever, I paid it to Fido. It was a legitimate charge and a miscommunication.<br /><br />I go BACK to the Rogers Plus store, I deal with Ashley this time, another very nice Rogers corporate employee. I let them know it's been sorted out with Fido and give them the confirmation number. Poor Ashley still has to jump through half a dozen hoops, talk on the phone, deal with hold times, but after an hour, I have a lovely Blackberry and off I go.<br /><br />I use it for three days and I hate it. If Blackberry went Android, they wouldn't go bankrupt. The OS is not intuitive, the apps are second rate and cost more than they would on Android, and basically, it's slow and lacking. I loved the keyboard however. So, with the buyer's remorse clause in hand, back I go to the Rogers Plus store in Abbotsford. I tell Amber that Ashley and Kyle were right, I was wrong, and can I please switch for a different phone. I decided on a Sony Xperia SP and with a lot less paperwork and hassle than the last two times. <br /><br />I get home and I find the top band of the phone's touch screen isn't working. I try several different online suggestions on how to fix it, but no, nothing is working. Guess what? Yup, back to Rogers Plus I go. I show the phone to Amber, and the problem. She and her co-worker (whose name I didn't get, but he has excellent taste in music!) try several things but agree it's broken. Problem is, that was her last Sony. I either have to go up to a pricer per month phone plan or I have to get a Blackberry because that's all they have left of their "price picks."<br /><br />Now, I already think that $45/mo is a stupid price. $55 or more? No, thank you. Not only do I think it's ridiculous, it's out of my budget. Amber suggests I phone Rogers directly and order from them since she can't control inventory. I agree to that, thank her for her patience and help and to pass on my thanks to the rest of the staff.<br /><br />It is now January 9th. I've been trying to get a phone for ten days now. I order the phone via the website, we get everything sorted out by a couple of phone calls and I supposedly have an account and a phone coming my way. <br /><br />By January 28th, I'm wondering where my phone is. I realize it can take up to 10 business days to ship and arrive but I've received NO WORD at all. So, having had enough, I try the online support and get a nice person telling me I have to phone a certain department. Okay, so I phone that department and get another nice person (I'll say this for Rogers, they hire good people for their customer service!) who sorts through the mess and says my account is still flagged as 'tentative.' For whatever reason, the account got bounced back to the boss of the lady I started my account with and he never did anything. He'd have gotten notifications and emails and he just sat on it. <br /><br />And that folks, is when I ran out of patience. I'd been trying to get a phone for nearly a month. I'd spent almost three hours in driving. I'd spent four hours with Rogers Customer Service in one shape or another. I'd waited, I'd phoned, I'd written, I'd driven, I'd done a ridiculous amount of everything to try and get an account and phone with Rogers. I'd run out of enthusiasm.. especially when the agent I was on the phone with said there's nothing she can do, that guy, who ever he is, has to do his thing, she can't do it for him. It shouldn't be this hard to get a phone and an account.<br /><br />But, I'm rather impressed, they actually made Telus look good.<br />Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-40258994925214639632013-11-30T10:53:00.001-08:002013-11-30T10:53:13.708-08:00[Consumer Rant] @BCHydro STILL billing incorrectly.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've tried contacting people at BC Hydro by a few other means and I've been completely ignored. Let's try a new route.<br /><br />I pay between $55 - $65 per month in hydro electricity. To give you an idea of why this is ridiculous, a friend in an apartment a third again as large pays at least half, sometimes two thirds, as much. Caveat, I am home most days due to being disabled and not working, but you'd think that would lead to a symmetry in my usage, not spikes in the weekends. Yes, I have a washer and dryer, but I use them once every seven to ten days, not every single day. When I went away for three weeks, my bill was equally ridiculously high even though the only thing running was my refrigerator. While my refrigerator may not be the most energy efficient model on the planet, some how I don't think it's using $65 worth of electricity on it's own.<br /><br />I have been promised an "investigation" when I phoned. No investigation was ever performed that I can tell. I suspect this is all a matter of a mislabelled meter, nothing more, nothing less. I'm also willing to believe that the smart meters aren't so smart. I have had letters ignored. When BC Hydro announces they're hiking their rates something like 26% over the next several years, I get cranky. I'm already overpaying by a good deal - and even if I've been paying someone else's bill since the smart meters went live, I'm pretty sure I'll never see a refund. However, I'd kind like this fixed so I'm not paying more for electricity than I spend in six weeks of gas for my car.<br /><br />One disabled woman, one laptop, one fan, a gerbil, a refrigerator, a barely used oven, and semi-regularly used kettle and microwave shouldn't generate this much. I'll start doing the actual math if BC Hydro continues to ignore me and then pitch a real fit -- via the news media.<br />
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The realistic answer, however, may be to start getting Freddie the Gerbil to generate electricity by running on his wheel. <br />
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<br /><br />Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-83651879211141108082013-11-25T20:58:00.000-08:002013-11-25T20:58:34.443-08:00[Consumber Rave] Kuseno Pillows (@KusenoComfort )<br />
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We're supposed to spend one third of our time in bed; in reality, most of us probably spend only a quarter. However, that's still a pretty impressive chunk of time. A lot of talk goes into the comfort of the bed but little goes on about the pillows. My disclaimer is that right off the bat, I know Alan. I've known Alan for probably twenty years or more, he is a friend. However, if I didn't like his pillows, I'd just not write a review rather than blow smoke.<br />
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Kuseno pillows, at their heart, are buckwheat shells in a pillow case. High quality craftsmanship is just the start of it. Each pillow is zipped so you can add or remove the hulls as you want to for a customized experience. They're heavier than a normal pillow, but they are squooshier as well. I liken them to sleeping on a beanbag, without the lumps.<br />
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I can't speak for anyone else, but when I sleep, I normally wake up every forty minutes to an hour, get up to move around due to pain, then go back to bed, readjust my pillow and try to get back to sleep. That getting back to sleep can normally take between ten and fifteen minutes. Since switching to a Kuseno pillow, I don't have to adjust the pillow, I just have to fall on my bed and am go back to sleep. My stiff neck and vague headaches on waking up are a thing of the past .<br />
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If you enjoy a firm pillow, Kuseno is perfect for you out of the gate. I, personally, like a bit of sponge to my pillow, so I slipped a flattened cheap pillow into the case and it's perfect. The buckwheat holds the shape I want, the much abused cheapy pillow, adds a bit of softness and I sleep as well as I have since before I first met fibromyalgia.<br />
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I give Kuseno pillows a very big thumbs up, and not just because they'd probably give a great whumpf in a pillow fight.. and it's gluten free. ;)Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-82207305598537510562013-11-25T20:43:00.002-08:002013-11-25T20:43:39.491-08:00[Consumer Rave] My first experience with @TargetCanada <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I went to the new Canadian Target. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting beyond "Zellers with a new brand name," mostly due to all the flack and bitching I've been hearing.<br /><br />Zellers was Canada's Wal-mart. It was a cheap product big box store. The quality wasn't great, but it was very much get what you pay for. The problem was, it was grungy. Its interior design was very crammed together and the colour scheme made you feel like you should power wash the whole place with bleach. It didn't help that none of the stores had probably had a face lift since the mid 80s. Their stores were often old and looked it. Target was bright, clean, room to shop, and had selection. I didn't feel like I was walking into Zellers at all. <br /><br />I didn't do much exploring, but from the bits I meandered through, it was laid out similarly to the American Targets I'd been in, had similar product types and quality and had elbow room to shop with. Was it more expensive than Walmart? Yup. Y'know why? Because they don't treat their workers like they're in Victorian England. Their workers have better working conditions, better pay, better treatment all around. Also, when Walmart came to Canada, it got a deal with our government that keeps its costs lower -- Target didn't get that deal.<br /><br />So, really, the choice isn't "Shop at Walmart and pay less or shop at Target and pay more for the same stuff" it's "Shop at Walmart and support the abuse of the working class, or shop at Sears, or Target, or HBC, or Real Canadian Superstore and support Canadians." If you want to shop at Canadian institutions, Sears or Real Canadian Superstore will happily accept your money. Walmart treats its workers and everyone to do with them like crap, every time you spend a dollar there you're supporting this. You're perfectly okay with people being treated like crap. Don't just post things to Facebook; talk with your dollar.<br /><br />Many bitch they didn't have any choice but to shop at Walmart, well y'know what? You do now. I get told they can't afford NOT to shop at Walmart, try to have a few less wants. Superstore is on par price wise with food and home goods. Sears is more expensive but their clothes and products are also of a higher quality and will last far longer. HBC still has the most awesome blankets on the planet.<br /><br />I give my local Target a thumbs up. All I need to do is find the yarn/crafting section.Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-39447391184313075312013-11-21T18:42:00.004-08:002013-11-21T18:42:39.445-08:00[Personal Rant] Doctor Who's 50th.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If you've been living under a rock or are one of the lucky who aren't addicted to Facebook, Twitter, Reddit or Slashdot, you may not know it's time for the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who. Yup, fifty years since the first show aired, a whole bunch of "Doctors" later and we have fifty years of a mad man with a blue box.<br />
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For those not fans of the show, the gist is simply he's an alien who can go anywhere in time and space, goes where he's needed, not necessarily where he wants and drags human companions along with him for the ride. It's dark fairy tales, exploring what it means to be human through aliens, humour, satire and darkness.<br />
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I stumbled across a thread of people bitching how sick and tired of Doctor Who "stuff" they are and insulted the show and the fans. Are people really that shallow that they can't just smile, shake their heads and move on? I'm sure there's lots of things that are popular that the minority didn't like. I didn't "get" Breaking Bad. I didn't curse, bitch, moan, insult and harass anyone who dared talk about it or enjoyed it. I think baseball is just about the most boring sport in the world, but again, glad it brings people happiness. How hard is it to just skip over the posts that involve that which you, personally, don't enjoy?<br />
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Are people so full of their sense of 'you are special, unique and the universe revolves around you' that they expect other people to put their own small pleasures on hold just because it's not something you enjoy? I could get it if these people have to go way out of their way to avoid the fluff, but seriously, any show making it to fifty years would get the celebration. Just wait till Star Trek hits fifty in 2016 for even more of this sort of mayhem. Heck, what about those who don't celebrate Christmas? They get to endure the same nonsense every year!<br />
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So you don't like something, that's fine. I don't think anyone is chaining anyone else down and making you watch anything. If you gave the show an honest try and said "Nope, not my thing," then I don't think any Doctor Who fan wouldn't respect that. (Okay, at least the non-butthead ones would respect it.) I don't think anyone is saying "You HAVE to celebrate!" or "You HAVE to enjoy!" so why do these people find it necessary to try and pee on the corn flakes of others? Bitterness? Jealousy? Feeling excluded so everyone has to come down to their level?<br />
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I don't get it and I'm not sure I want to get it, probably because I'll be too busy enjoying a community that welcomes anyone who appreciates a mad man with a box.<br />
<br />Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-23091816572471484082013-11-13T08:54:00.002-08:002014-01-16T21:34:21.290-08:00[Conspiracy Rant] Get your kids their vaccines.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There is an article going around the internet that is essentially "OMG! Secrets of vaccines revealed" and I've had seven people send me the <a href="http://www.collective-evolution.com/2013/05/21/university-of-bc-doctors-expose-vaccination-coverup-official-documents-released-from-the-uk/" target="_blank">link</a>. The article lost me with the horrific grammar and abuse of quotation and apostrophes. Overlooking the list of links to conspiracy sites, overlooking the abuse of the English language, and even overlooking the need for humans to find some big bogeyman to blame for everything wrong with our universe, I can find countless sites disproving humans landed on the moon. We plain didn't have the technology at the time. You can find sites on the internet that will take all sorts of morsels of information and twist them ten ways to Sunday. By the way, those hidden sessions are well documented <a href="http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20130107105354/http://www.dh.gov.uk/ab/DH_095169" target="_blank">here</a> and have been for years.<br />
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That said, I'm pro vaccine; it's not a secret. I have several friends who are anti-vaccine, whether it comes to their children, themselves, or both. What if we hadn't vaccinated against polo? Small pox? Would you wish the chance of either on your kids?
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"But Lorna, it's JUST the measles!" (insert chicken pox, etc, in place of measles as you wish.)
<br />
From the CDC, "About one out of 10 children with measles also gets an ear infection, and up to one out of 20 gets pneumonia. About one out of 1,000 gets encephalitis, and one or two out of 1,000 die. Other rash-causing diseases often confused with measles include roseola (roseola infantum) and rubella (German measles)." That's the AMERICAN stats, people. It's not much different in Canada. And those are just the stats for one disease your child will probably get due to the growing trend of not vaccinating.
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You're giving your kid a .001% chance of death if they *only* get the measles. You may say "That's not a big chance, Lorna." Do you know what the chances of complications from a vaccine are? I didn't either, I did a Google search. The answer from the CDC is 1 in 1,000,000. While, yes, people play the lotto with worse odds than that, you're saying that your child's 0.000001% chance of having deadly side-effects from a vaccine are more important than your child's 001% chance of death from the disease.
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And it's not just your kids. It's every kid your child gave the disease to before your child started to show symptoms. Does your child have any child at their school with a weakened immune system? A kid in treatment for leukaemia? An adult who is HIV +? This isn't your problem, you may say. That child's parents should vaccinate or not vaccinate then, you may say. That would make you a pretty shitty human, I say. Not only are you are placing the needs of your child over the needs of every child on the planet and some adults too, you're putting the needs of your child over the needs of those who can't get the vaccine. (And adults have a much higher mortality rate.) I have been told "That's what being a parent is about." And maybe it is, because let's face it, I don't have kids so I don't know. However, my parents got me vaccinated and my Mum is an RN and any who have met her will know she's a rather smart cookie, a smart cookie who would investigate things being put into her children pretty closely. Vaccines have only gotten safer since the mid 1970s.
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Diseases that should be disappearing are making a come back. They're killing children. They're killing children at a rate that would make a serial killer go "Holy [cow]." Why is it so okay for you to enable the death of others just because of something you read on the internet?
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<br />
It's been proved that vaccines do not cause autism. It's been proven that there's more mercury in your drinking water than there is in the average vaccine. Don't give me this crap. Don't be a selfish, unsympathetic human being and go get your children their vaccine. Hell, even do it for your own kids, they'd be better off.
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There is no conspiracy to take your or the government's money. There's just a conspiracy of people like those who make computer malware; they think it's funny to mess you up.
Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-65165316804403136202013-10-20T12:40:00.000-07:002013-10-21T01:33:59.482-07:00[Lorna Ramble] Scotland the brave, Canada the strong.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today I was asked if I would move back to Scotland and I wanted to say "In
a heartbeat." The truth, however is more complex as the truth often is. Would I
move back to the Scotland that is in my memories and mind, in a heartbeat.
However, that Scotland is the wonderful land where parents did the worrying,
where school was easy and the teachers (nuns) catered to my individual voracious
learning ability, and money was never an issue.
<P>
Britain, right now, is in more of a political and budgetary mess now than
when we left in '82. Money and politics wasn't exactly the reason we emigrated
(as with any life decision that huge, there were a host of reasons 7 year old me
didn't grasp) but it was certainly a factor. Mum could make much more money in
Canada than she could in Britain. Dad had the same confusing spaghetti mess of
career paths to walk in Britain as Canada as a retired member of the military.
So off we went.<P>
NHS is a mess. Real estate is a mess. Politics are a mess. The politics are
far more similar to Canada than Canada's is America, so I understand their logic
and lack there of much better. I understand how they got where they are and can
see how they can change their course to see where they want to go. American
politics, and politicians, baffle me. How people can vote for a party purely
because its "their" party, makes me do the Jackie Chan "WTF?!" pose. I swear,
that in the States, that if the Democrats required eating a puppy for breakfast,
people would still vote Democrat because they've always voted Democrat. Women
who vote Republican (right now, as the party stands) are equally crazy. It's
your vagina, ladies.
<P>
But I get off topic. Would I love to have a small home near high street in
Elgin? Absolutely, without a doubt. I'd love to be back in my other home. I'd
miss to Chilliwack, I'd miss my Canadian friends and family, but part of my soul
says "I want to be in the Highlands." Could I ever financially make it happen?
No.
<P>
In theory, if I REALLY wanted it, I could make it happen. I could
sell my condo, pack up my necessities (which would fit in one suitcase) and pick
up my butt and just get on a plane. I could then look around, survive the few
months requirement before I can qualify for council assistance and get on with
my life. In practicality, however, its a bit trickier. Can Scotland afford me?
No, probably not. Canada can, no matter what our politicians say. Should I move
from being a burden of kilograms to being a burden of tonnes? It's not fair to
the people. It wouldn't be fair to my new neighbours. How can I say "I love this
place" and then promptly make it a more difficult place for everyone?
<P>
Chilliwack, all of lower south-wet BC, really, has the same rugged beauty,
and if not an ancient power ingrained in every rock and leaf, it certainly has
raw power in plenty. It has the people, it has the food, and life. It has almost
everything I need. But, that doesn't stop me from looking to the horizon, I'll
admit it. But move back? In my dreams I can visit any time I wish, and its a
hardship for none.
Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-24916001484330800212013-09-25T04:52:00.000-07:002013-09-25T04:52:10.319-07:00[Personal Stuff] Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the myths and misconceptions.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We all run into them - the people who feel they know more about our disease than we ourselves do; the people who lecture us. Sometimes they have something useful to offer, but unfortunately, most of the time they're just repeating "common wisdom."<br /><br />The most common misconception about fibromyalgia is that it isn't a real condition; that its just something doctors label a bunch of symptoms when they've run out of things to call it. It's very much a real condition, it's not in our heads, and it does have a group of symptoms that identify it as such. Fibromyaglia is a neurological disease and has been shown to very much exist via brain imaging.<br /><br />The problem, really, is that people think there is a cure for everything; if your doctor can't give you a pill, cut it out, or solve it with a few shots, then it must be in your head. It's not. Just because a disease hasn't been identified (and in this case, fibro has been), doesn't mean it is any less real.<br />Most commonly in people with fibro, their brain, spinal cord, and potentially the whole nervous system, processes pain differently than those that don't. People with fibro are more sensitive to touch, pressure and pain. No one's body is the same day in and day out, which is why some days are worse than others. You may be fighting off a cold, you may be tired due to lack of sleep, a whole host of things could make it worse and on the flip side, an interrupted night's sleep (I'm told!) makes things a whole lot better. Some days wearing clothes is like sandpaper, other days I could probably wear sandpaper. (Okay, maybe not.)<br /><br />Another problem is that a lot of people if fibro people just change their diet, their problems would go away. Now, considering that a lot of fibro patients also have issues with their thyroid and should avoid soy, and dietary auto-immune issues like celiacs, its understandable how people could come to this conclusion. Thyroid issues and fibro could very well be related, I know when my thyroid is being grumpy, my fibro is too. However, cutting coke, or coffee, or corn, or whatever, out of one's diet isn't a miracle cure. Certain things help for certain people, but they only help, they don't remove the base problems. In my case, I avoid dairy and gluten and keep fats such as eggs or peanut butter to a minimum and I do as well as I can. Fibromyalgia is not an autoimmune disease, even if it is linked with them.<br /><br />A lot of people seem to think fibro patients are just fishing for sympathy and are malingerers. The truth is, most fibro sufferers wait over three years before they start talking to a doctor about their problems, often working long past the point where they should have stopped. Its so ingrained to us that anyone who doesn't work is a lazy slob who is worse than the worst does not help. There is a point where one has to say "I need help," but the perceived judgment of friends, families and coworkers make it so very hard to get to that point. Typically, its not until everything completely unravels that a patient seeks help; and then you're stuck trying to rebuild from the bottom of a very deep hole instead of just from halfway up.<br /><br />Fibro doesn't affect just middle-aged women, it affects men, women and even children. Yes, the larger percentage of sufferers seems to be women. Partially, that's because men don't tend to suffer from all "11 tender points" like women do. Children who suffer "growing pains" are often suffering from fibro or fibro related symptoms, but what pediatrician would think to look for it? Its not until recently the links have been made.<br /><br />People with fibro aren't being weak, they aren't being malingerers, they aren't just trying to get a free ride. Most people will understand when you talk to them about it, are willing to hear your experiences and why the myths are myths, but if you get one of those right winners who say things like "Geez, the guy only lost a leg, he could get a job!" don't bother, just keep walking. They're too wrapped up in themselves and their own world view to constructively listen. They made up their minds long ago, and some battles just aren't worth fighting. Find your friends, hug your friends, and appreciate that not all of humanity are buttheads who'd rather believe a convenient lie than an inconvenient truth.<br />
<br /><br />Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-23244258021377369042013-08-21T15:24:00.000-07:002013-08-21T15:24:27.335-07:00[Consumer Rant & Rave] Shaw Communications, Shaw Direct and their promises. (@ShawInfo @ShawDirect_News)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When CBC went digital a lot of households that depended on rabbit ears and CBC lost TV signal. The digital signal wasn't nearly as far reaching and Shaw Direct stepped up and said they'd ship anyone who was now out of range an SD satellite dish (the old Star dishes) and provide local programming. I didn't expect much more than CBC and possibly CTV and Global. It was actually several Canadian networks. After a few months, they offered me a deal for a whole shlock more channels, including the U.S. networks for $12/mo. Which, you have to admit, is a pretty freaking awesome deal. So I signed up before they could change their minds.<br />
<br />
Last May, I got offered that as long as I'm with Shaw Direct, I could have Internet (High Speed 20), Personal Home Phone with 1 year of free long distance and a TV Package (Personal Television) for $55/mo. That was the deal. Internet, by itself is $50. I do believe that's the cheapest internet they have, which I personally think it is ridiculously expensive. So, all in all, it was a pretty awesome deal.<br />
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On my bill last month, it was said my bill may be going up to $66/mo. Now, I'd been being charged $59/mo since the get go, but I didn't feel it was worth butting heads with Shaw about $4/mo. However, for $11/mo more than what I was promised I decided I would poke the bear. It actually took several pokes of the bear for them to actual pay attention to what I was saying. When I started copy and pasting emails of what I was offered, they started to actually realize I had legitimate ground to question how their pants weren't actually on fire. In the end they offered the olive branch of they'd downgrade me to a lower internet speed and we could call it even.<br />
<br />
Now, on the one hand - its still a pretty good deal all things considered. On the other, they haven't kept their word. I'm feeling a bit burned here. I'm not feeling quite upset enough to cancel my account and go over to Comwave, I did consider signing up with local phone service which had dial up for $9.95/mo. It would mean I'm not gaming any more, but I have been barely gaming now anyway. But I'm also not sure I want to flush this deal down the drain just to make a point.<br />
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I'm just very tired of feeling bent over and screwed by telecommunications companies in this country. They could at least buy me dinner first, I miss enough of them to pay them after all.<br />
<br />Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-69023955092947367202013-08-10T03:14:00.001-07:002013-08-10T03:14:47.728-07:00[Personal Stuff] Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the mental side of things.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFg4dDrj3EYpZ4gbZkxZzud7S1LZY4axPLwKsOpM5kX3c5Dke8ihvsCioX-VO46vmvpd442cs_yjc2GpGntKMp7IL044wjr1wpwQcUDjqC7xORMUeSGuHpryOaTcXT0_YMdfO19f-iP9m0/s1600/dog-sleeping-on-bed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFg4dDrj3EYpZ4gbZkxZzud7S1LZY4axPLwKsOpM5kX3c5Dke8ihvsCioX-VO46vmvpd442cs_yjc2GpGntKMp7IL044wjr1wpwQcUDjqC7xORMUeSGuHpryOaTcXT0_YMdfO19f-iP9m0/s320/dog-sleeping-on-bed.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
The mental side of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is more frustrating than the physical. People can weigh and measure the physical. Most people have hurt themselves in one way or another and can empathize. They don't always understand the long term weight of chronic conditions, but they can see the cloud. But still if you say "I feel tired" they don't understand. If you say "I always feel tired." they really don't understand.<br />
<br />
I don't get restful sleep. Ever. I am awake every twenty to forty minutes. Typically its a matter of get up, go to the bathroom, go back to bed and rinse repeat till I can either no longer sleep any longer or until I'm just too irritated with the whole process to keep doing it. I'll go through a string of days where I don't get more than three or four hours of interrupted sleep, and then I'll have a couple of days where all my body wants to do is be in bed. It never quite gets the memo that it won't ever get restful sleep.<br />
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I have constant physical and mental fatigue. The mental side effects are difficulty in focusing, trouble concentrating, decreased creativity, difficulty in problem solving, a skewed time sense, and severe memory issues.<br />
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I can tell you right now the memory and time sense issues are the biggest problem. If I do not write something down, I will not remember it. If I have an appointment on the 15th for something, I have to make a mental effort to tell myself over and over that it's happening, I have to write it down at least once, and even then I've been known to not remember. Often the only reason I know what day of the week it is because of my boyfriend's work schedule. I have only the vaguest awareness of the date on any given day. I can be told someone's name fifty times, but until I have seen it written, I will not remember it. I sometimes completely lose track of what year it is. I have also been known to forget my own middle name. Granted, its rare that I use my middle name, but still, you'd think it would be something I wouldn't forget!<br />
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The focus issues are what prevent me from getting much of anything done even when my pain is at an 'I can ignore it' level. Even if I've gotten a shot of torradol to deal with pain, I still have issues getting much of anything completed. I'll have it in my head, I'll have the motivation, but then I'll sit down to get something from brain to paper or keyboard and there's a misfire somewhere along the line. I might get it started, but I'll almost be guaranteed to not get it completed. Blog posts tends to be about the limit of what I can do in "one sitting." (which, in reality, is me coming back to it four or five times before I either wrap it up or leave it dangling.) <br />
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I have developed the attention span of a squirrel on crack. I am easily distracted, slow to get back to what I was doing and slower still to pick it up each time. I find it hard to concentrate on someone talking, after a while I just start to drift and have to yank myself back to the conversation at hand. It's not that I'm not interested, it's just its hard to concentrate for longer than a certain time.<br />
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I used to be a very creative girl. I would write pages and pages of fiction on a daily basis. I would read a book a day. I'm probably down to reading a book a week and if I get a short story finished every couple of weeks, I consider myself lucky. Its not that I don't have the ideas, even if they float around in their own little clouds, never really quite connecting, but getting them out, connecting the scenes, doing the 'beyond imagining' just isn't happening. I can't even remember, most days, the backbone setup for a story. I tend to use Freytag's analysis for story writing - five stages; exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, resolution/denouement. I can typically get through the exposition and sometimes start the rising action, but rarely get any further.<br />
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Problem solving is hard. You present me with a situation and give me five choices, I'll probably choose one and it will probably be the right choice. You present me with a situation and no real pre-formed answers, I tend to curl up in a little ball and take five times longer to choose an action or answer than it should take me. Its not so much problem avoidance as it just takes that long for my brain to sort through it all and spew out an answer.<br />
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When you take stress, mental interruptions, physical issues, isolation and a lack of sleep and social interaction you have pretty much the perfect recipe for clinical depression. I call my depression type 'anger without motivation.' I'm frustrated, I'm restless, I'm irritable, I'm easy to anger, slow to calm down, everything is a big deal and my brain just will run around screaming with it's proverbial hands waving in the air whenever anything goes wrong. My coping abilities have become next to nothing but trying to work up the enthusiasm to do anything is just too difficult.<br />
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I often feel alone, purposeless, restless, and like nothing will ever change or ever improve. I can sort of muddle along if I feel I'm making process towards an important goal (such as getting the right medications, visiting my boyfriend, whatever) but as soon as I feel I'm just sitting in a puddle and flailing, going nowhere, gaining no ground, I quickly lose hope and just start to sink. I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to do anything, and I just want to sit in my bathtub (don't ask) and hug my knees and want the pain to go away. Of course, it doesn't go away and I get closer and closer to suicidal. I'm fairly lucky in that while I've considered suicide more than once, I just can't do that to the people I love. I may not feel like I can connect to them, or that they're an immediate part of my life, but I also know they'd be wrecked if I suddenly took myself off of this planet. Its still not fun to deal with in any shape or form.<br />
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Which leads to - if you can't say something supportive, don't say anything at all.<br />
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I, and most people I know with FMS, try to be upbeat. We try to be positive. We'll post cute pictures on Facebook, we'll tell silly stories, we'll joke around. Its very disheartening, however, when people chose to nitpick, or contradict, or argue. I have some friends who love to debate, to over-analyze, and to just dissect everything. Most days, I just filter it in one ear and out the other, but on trying days it gets too much and I just want them to shut up and go away. Its kind of hard to tell people to temporarily shut up and go away directly and remain a polite Canadian. Its also kind of hard to explain why their asking how much analysis is too much analysis is making me want to beat their head bloody when all you want to do is have people to be happy and positive and dance amongst the flowers. To make this even more fun, most days I'm perfectly fine with the brattiness, the refusal to suspend belief and enjoy and general cynicism so people have no way to know WHEN I'll suddenly growl and say "just let it go already."<br />
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I've also learned that if I want to post my thoughts on anything negative or grumpy or controversial not to do it on Facebook. I'm not sure what it is about Facebook that makes people turn into debate champions and the royal cream of nitpickers, but I now keep it purely to Blogger and Twitter. Its hard to lose that wide base of support due to the nay sayers, but one does what one can.<br />
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However, when people say things like "Well, maybe if you get a job" or "Have you tried yoga?" or anything else that's just bloody OBVIOUS, that we've all heard five thousand times before, its a kick to the kidneys. Of course we've tried Yoga, of course we want to get jobs, of course we want to live lives as normal as possible - that's the thing, we already are. We're already scouring the net looking for answers, we're networking with each other, we're talking, we're griping, we're fairly up on things. "Have you heard about Hatha Yoga?" is a lot more open and less judgemental than a general "Have you tried yoga?" All we hear after the fortieth time we hear a comment like "Have you tried yoga?" is "You're an idiot who is obviously happy wallowing and not improving or changing." Sure, you didn't mean it that way. You probably even feel its a stretch to have it interpreted that way, but imagine if you hear the same thing over and over. It becomes a criticization. We're open to suggestions, but keep in mind, anyone who has had FMS/CFS for more than a year has probably heard the most common ones before. Try to coach any suggestions in as open ended terminology as possible!<br />
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When in doubt, "That sucks" or "HUG!" or a simple indication of empathy works so very well. It says "I'm thinking of you, I'm hear to listen, I'm not judging you." Short and sweet.<br />
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Being told to "get a real job" is a personal favourite. Apparently people seem to think that it's fun for a grown adult to always have to be begging for help. To put one's pride down, when often pride's all you got, and say "I need help." You need help to pay for clothes, or food, or transport. This is on top of the help you already have to ask for just to get daily life things accomplished. I can't speak for all FMS/CFS sufferers, but I receive $944 a month on disability and $40 of that is purely because I'm celiac and get a dietary allotment. $944 isn't a whole heck of a lot of money.. and if I were married, I would be forever living off the generosity of my spouse and feeling like an anchor around their neck. Its probably the most insulting and hurtful comment I get, and of course, the wonderful judgemental people never actually say it to my face, they say it behind my back.<br />
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Here's a life lesson - if you can't say it to someone's face, or at least want the message to get filtered through to them, don't say it and perhaps wonder why you even think it. Look at why you feel that way, look at why your friend is friends with them, and then maybe think about it. It's real easy to say "get a real job" and make a casual judgement, it's not so easy to ever get them to respect or like you again. If high school taught us nothing else, its that rumour-mongering and drama causing always gets around.<br />
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And if you can hold down a job when you have trouble remembering your own name some days, let me know your secret and what job it is you do.<br />
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Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-52556075720678219152013-08-05T03:14:00.001-07:002013-10-02T08:55:29.817-07:00[Personal Stuff] Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the physical side of things.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0dxUPlBKVfYVIjiCeWrEqmnnsAvNuxNXiWv8QVwlpzNYPZdakO8I6vB-tRGRuwmejcmQJR_anSo-zp3Y9dP8zFm15DEKG8lQCj3r88WW_y6LanlqTlB8UlWEUj5LjE6n7aqJu4WgGw6DF/s1600/body-pain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0dxUPlBKVfYVIjiCeWrEqmnnsAvNuxNXiWv8QVwlpzNYPZdakO8I6vB-tRGRuwmejcmQJR_anSo-zp3Y9dP8zFm15DEKG8lQCj3r88WW_y6LanlqTlB8UlWEUj5LjE6n7aqJu4WgGw6DF/s200/body-pain.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<br />
I'm going to refer to Fibromyalgia pain as FMS for brevity. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (sometimes categorized separately, sometimes included in FMS) is abbreviated to CFS.<br />
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The part you'll hear the most about when it comes to Fibro is the pain. The non-stop, unending, will sapping, stress causing, pain. Have you ever had a three day migraine? Imagine that in every single part of your body. Imagine your joints are all screaming at you with arthritis, Imagine your hair brushing against your face from a fan hurting you, and now imagine you never know what part of you will hurt, how much it'll hurt and when. It's not fun. This is not something some dreamed up to get out of holding a real job, this is a real, serious, deliberating condition. Its never a matter of being pain free, its a matter of pain level.<br />
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Most fibro sufferers start their day with self-evaluation. The start time of their day varies since fibro is normally hand in hand with chronic fatigue syndrome; you sleep how and when you can and its never enough. When you wake up you start the evaluation of 'What is my body doing? How is it feeling? What can I manage today?" and then you get to go look at your calender and probably call and cancel tentative plans in favour of doing something like grocery shopping to put food in your cupboards.<br />
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Some days its an accomplishment to make coffee. Some days its too hard to get dressed; hell, some days going to the bathroom is a lesson in torture. You don't realize how many muscles and joints you use for such simple acts until you have back or nerve issues. Some days I am curled up on the couch, trying to work up the enthusiasm to put on a brave face and stiff upper lip and post cute pictures of cute animals to Facebook. Social contact, even if its electronic DOES help; looking at cute things and posting happy thoughts DOES help. It helps mentally, it doesn't help one iota with the pain or stress. when you have a broken leg, wiggling your toes hurts like hell, but you can probably still joke about how you wanted a tie-dye cast before you went to the Fleetwood Mac reunion concert.<br />
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As one friend said, "Don't confuse happy with healthy." I can assure you, after fourteen years of this hell, I choose my victories when and where I can. A lot of the time I'll put on the brave face because I don't want to burden other people with my suffering; their life has enough problems, they don't need me to be a Debbie Downer on top of them. Of course, it also occasionally get splattered all across my Facebook wall when I need to vent my spleen. Its a bit of a roller coaster.<br />
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Stress does wonderful things to the body and being in pain every day of your life and knowing you'll be in pain for the foreseeable future is rather stressful. FMS patients have digestive issues. They also will have trouble sleeping as much from stress and symptoms as pain itself. Sufferers get tension and/or migraine headaches. (Almost all FMS patients get migraines.) I, like many other FMS sufferers, am also sensitive to bright lights, loud noises, have developed food intolerances, touch and heat makes me physically ill. These may be from stress, autoimmune issues (as FMS seems to come hand in hand with autoimmune diseases), or third party causes entirely.<br />
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I also have issues with muscle control, a lack of energy, muscle spasms and general weakness. If I stay in one position for more than fifteen minutes I will be very stiff and its rather painful to straighten up or move. Standing is quite painful quickly, walking can be as difficult some days.<br />
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And if all that's not enough to be a barrier to employment, there is no real predictable pattern to all of the above. It all fluctuates. I have good days and bad days. I have days where I'm horrible in the morning and fine in the afternoon. I have days where the opposite is true. I have a week where you're absolutely fine and then three weeks when you aren't. I have days where I'm not safe to drive because I'm in too much to concentrate. I have days where I couldn't tell you what I just said because I'm in "fibro fog." I've had to cancel doctors appointments because I'm in no condition to get there or sit in a chair.<br />
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I also have some sort of issue in my lower back at the L5-S1 juncture. Some neurologists and neurosurgeons have seen the issue, some haven't. It seems to be a come and go thing. My personal theory is that it's caused by a spinal leak I gained during back surgery. I can sometimes feel a bump in my lower back under the surgery scar, some days I can't. This issue also gives me all the fun associated with back pain and weakens my left leg significantly. I also have issues with my right leg that are not symmetrical to the left<br />
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I have numb spots on my legs and buttocks. I can't feel the tops of my feet and my toes tend to feel like there's a 9V battery hooked up to them. Every so often my body likes to spice it up by sending a shooting pain down the main nerve from back of knee to the base of my toes, but mostly its just numb. I can drop things on my feet and not know it, I walk into things, I bang body parts and just not notice. I am constantly looking at my legs and wonder how I gained a bruise or bump.<br />
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Heat makes me physically ill. Whether that's a side effect of thyroid or just my system being hyper-sensitive, I don't know. What I do know is that I can tell you almost exactly when it's hit 28C because I'm trying not to vomit. (And if you think standing and sitting when you have back problems is fun, imagine vomiting while you have back issues.)<br />
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So, I can't commute to a job, I can't sit to work at a job for more than twenty minutes hour or so on my "average" days, I can't walk around at the job, and some days I can't even stand the feeling of clothes on my skin - most work environments frown on nudity. Working outside the home is impossible, so my next post will be the why's of working at home hasn't been a brilliant idea either.<br />
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<br />Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-80696606851450569452013-08-05T03:05:00.001-07:002013-10-26T08:28:50.777-07:00[Personal Stuff] An overview of why I don't "get a real job"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPKLm14314BOFbK7D1qC88O_WQ55Vlt5PDhToygZRQGSzeJL9MyCz9jDCyzv1NDUsjvdWZ9d0v-xfCQsrh7Va2zFkcuGtrMZV0CDQmLd020UidLzLZVDfH_wcje-fA6Tq32IbJbNYhzflc/s1600/fibromyalgia-c772fb3536932530bacf1650955f21b7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPKLm14314BOFbK7D1qC88O_WQ55Vlt5PDhToygZRQGSzeJL9MyCz9jDCyzv1NDUsjvdWZ9d0v-xfCQsrh7Va2zFkcuGtrMZV0CDQmLd020UidLzLZVDfH_wcje-fA6Tq32IbJbNYhzflc/s200/fibromyalgia-c772fb3536932530bacf1650955f21b7.jpg" width="183" /></a></div>
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It was filtered back to me recently that a friend of a friend said that I should (in essence) get off Facebook and get a real job. I guess she never noticed I would only spend 5 - 10 minutes at a go on Facebook over the course of the day, with 20 - 45 minute gaps in between, that such patterns don't really equip you to hold down a "real job." Its probably also not very noticeable how little sleep I get so that posting happens over 18 - 20 hours. When you're busy with being a full time employee, a full time wife, a full time parents AND trying to get a little sleep and fun in on the side, you probably don't notice the details of other people's lives; you don't really see their paradigm<br />
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Its not the first time I've received this attitude, it probably won't be the last. So, for those that will take the time to read, I present to you my experiences with chronic fatigue, pain and the fun in-between. By the by, I'm not quite sure what qualifies as a real job, but I'll assume it's not, in some's opinion, being a giant leech on society to the tune of $904/mo.<br />
<br />
This'll be an 6 part series.<br />
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1) <a href="http://twocentscanadian.blogspot.ca/2013/08/personal-stuff-fibromyalgia-and-chronic.html" target="_blank">The physical experience of FMS/CFS</a><br />
2) <a href="http://twocentscanadian.blogspot.ca/2013/08/personal-stuff-fibromyalgia-and-chronic_10.html" target="_blank">The mental experience of FMS/CFS</a><br />
3) <a href="http://twocentscanadian.blogspot.ca/2013/09/personal-stuff-fibromyalgia-and-chronic.html" target="_blank">Myths and Misconceptions.</a><br />
4) The medical system and the incurable.<br />
5) The financial side of things.<br />
6) Summation/Final Thoughts. <br />
<br />
FMS = Fibromygalia Syndrome<br />
CFS = Chronic Fatigue Syndrome<br />
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Just as a note - each blog post can take up to three days for me to write, so there may be some silent bumps. I tend to write blog posts, or short story blurbs, or whatever, in twenty-minute allotments. Its also why I tend not to finish the story blurbs, its simply because by the time I'm 3/4 of the way through them I've lost my connection to them. "Fibro Fog" is just an extra fun fact. (See second 2 .. when its written)<br />
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Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-67059777266854320322013-07-31T22:09:00.004-07:002013-07-31T22:09:34.224-07:00[Personal Rant] Just because I'm nice - It does not mean I want to have sex with you.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkwHfFeoKNoBPcHTcmpEwkW7TzBRNl-Fs78ePoQVsIkCPZXY5XgTxsNH70lrp0D7Y7ktn6eVwU88TFVI-VZ0R3BFMo15x06HRiJhLdzgkuo4B1m8nnrcmiYUcNT9NcYt4YwcxdTDKzyjaL/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkwHfFeoKNoBPcHTcmpEwkW7TzBRNl-Fs78ePoQVsIkCPZXY5XgTxsNH70lrp0D7Y7ktn6eVwU88TFVI-VZ0R3BFMo15x06HRiJhLdzgkuo4B1m8nnrcmiYUcNT9NcYt4YwcxdTDKzyjaL/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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Somewhere in the last five years or so, I've noticed that if I am nice to a person, particularly a geek male, it seems they will think that I am hitting on them or expressing an interest in them. Not all geek males by a long shot, but its a large enough percentage that I've pretty much stopped flirting with anyone.<br />
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In short : I am happily, completely, and madly in love with my boyfriend.<br />
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I have no interest in trading him in. I have no interest in exchanging him. I have no interest in any other being on this planet sexually. Okay, maybe John Barrowman, but he doesn't want me so that's immaterial. No, my boyfriend isn't perfect.. but here's a major revelation; neither am I. I am selfish, demanding and an attention whore. I don't want money, I don't want things, I want TIME and I want ATTENTION. Do you know how freaking hard it is to shop for someone who doesn't want THINGS? I don't per say, but I get told it's seriously NOT FUN.<br />
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I would rather twenty minutes a day every day than twelve hours on one day. I would rather ten minutes than ten dollars. Not that you can pry my Stitch plushies out of even my cold, dead, hands.. Mostly because that shows he was thinking of me. But, physical gifts that mean something are far and few between.<br />
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To get back on topic, just because I drive out to have coffee with you at 0330 because your marriage failed does not mean I want to have sex with you. Just because I spent five hours listening to you talk about problems and being a sounding board when I had no real advice to give you does not mean I want to have sex with you. Just because I did any number of genuine nice person things does not mean I want to have sex with you. Just because I listened to you brag about your sexual prowess for hours, does not mean I want to experience said sexual prowess myself. I did those things because that's what friends do.<br />
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It didn't matter than you were male or female. It didn't matter that you are someone I've never met in person. It didn't matter that you just spent the last three days kicking my ass from one end of the battlefront to the other and back .. wait, that one might.. I take my PvP pretty seriously. Regardless, its because I'm a nice person.<br />
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I don't have a lot of close friends, people I confide every thought to. Actually, I don't have any of those. Only my boyfriend gets the unfiltered me, and he's the first ever. I don't have much of a filter it has two modes ; on or off. I am either willing to talk about it with most or talk about it with no one, excluding him. The fact that I'm willing to tell you the generals about my frustrating day just means you were one of the first friends to ask, it doesn't mean you're my closest confidant and I'm wanting to change you from friend to naked mambo partner.<br />
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I have a lot of people I consider 'general friends' .. the people I'm happy to chat with, do favours for (non-sexual :P ) and basically hang out with. If those people don't ever really return that, then they tend to get shuffled off for new people. If you're one of the new people - it's because you seem to be a genuine nifty person. If you're one of the old people - it's because you are a genuine nifty person. No rocket science is hidden here. If you start hitting on beyond playful banter, you might see me edge away. I will drop polite hints of 'not interested' or 'Boy, I love my boyfriend, he's so awesome.' or finally just say 'You know I don't want to have sex with you right?" The last tends to ruin friendships, but there comes a point where the attention has just gotten creepy and stalker feeling.<br />
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I don't think every man or woman wants to have sex with me. I don't even think one percent of the people I've met who could biologically be sexually interested in me are. This is addressed purely to those who think "Hey, she's kinda hot and I think she like-likes me," .. the answer is no, I' really don't. I'm just a nice person and you're someone that is either a friend or I feel could use a friend.<br />
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Disclaimer : If you're my boyfriend. I do totally like-like you and think you're hot and that you should be here right now. Everyone else -- no.<br />
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Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-57311232376925446932013-07-25T16:16:00.004-07:002013-07-25T16:16:40.024-07:00[Consumer Consideration] Kids and cell phone games.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDsxIASFEZvuTE7tihQ_ndaTGGLRZdtZyVam3zcbZJ6yzsgYkrA-z8H8cVHL_ENb_KmcS4SlrwFl34V8KPqDXr6erz1I_bDRcOuaNAO_rPsx3qH2ztfe4GOgBKe8JXZoUz2NyqdlhmXzSu/s1600/free-learning-apps-for-kids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDsxIASFEZvuTE7tihQ_ndaTGGLRZdtZyVam3zcbZJ6yzsgYkrA-z8H8cVHL_ENb_KmcS4SlrwFl34V8KPqDXr6erz1I_bDRcOuaNAO_rPsx3qH2ztfe4GOgBKe8JXZoUz2NyqdlhmXzSu/s320/free-learning-apps-for-kids.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/2013/07/23/f-mobile-apps-purchasing-warning.html" target="_blank">CBC News : How to protect yourself from costly bait apps</a><br /></div>
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I'm as guilty as anyone - kid is whining, I hand over the cell phone to entertain them. I don't have kids; I have friends with kids. In an aside, these are my favourite kind of kids, I get to play with them, teach them bad habits, spoil them rotten and hand them back when they start getting irritating. Its also my favourite kind of dog and I treat them remarkably similarly, though kids are more dangerous - they have thumbs.</div>
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However, before I handed my phone over I told my nephew that I only have a demo of a couple of the games and to not order the full versions please, I can't afford them. He was eight. Now, some would think I was crazy for trusting an eight year old, in hindsight, I think I may have been crazy for trusting an eight year old; BUT, he didn't buy anything, he happily played for thirty or so minutes while his Mom and I gossiped and then handed the phone back. Part, I think, of why I could trust him was his parents had instilled from an early age that things aren't free and you ALWAYS ask permission before buying something.</div>
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When I was about that age I wanted an Archie digest but I was pretty sure my Mum wouldn't have bought it for me if I asked. (In hindsight, she probably would have since I'd actually been helpful on the particular shopping trip and not a hindrance.) So, I snuck it into the trolley. I typically had the job of unloading, Mum had the job of packing, so getting it to the cashier was easy, getting to it before my Mum would try to bag it was trickier, but I thought I'd managed it. However, when we were leaving my Mum said she'd seen what I'd done, she wasn't impressed, and that it was stealing. I looked up at her wide-eyed and said it wasn't stealing, it had been paid for. She said I didn't steal from the store, I'd stolen from *her* since I'd used her money without permission. I was very shocked by this and apologized and she said just don't let it happen again. And it didn't for about 9 years. (Another story for another time since I don't come out looking at all well in it!)<br /></div>
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And I think, that lesson along with some basic precautions are what you need before you hand over your cell phone or your tablet for the kid to play with. I'm not an extremist, I don't believe kids shouldn't be allowed video games. If it entertains them in the car or while you're shopping, why not? If they want to chat, and interact with you, they will. If they don't, they won't. I think you just need to be open to either possibility. And let's face it, some days you may not want to be social with ANYONE and that'll include your kids. </div>
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First off, turning off the internet isn't difficult. You should know how to do this anyway. Turn it off before you hand it over and problem solved, sort of. Your more advanced kids will, of course, know how to turn the internet back on. Some of the free-to-play games won't work without internet because if they're not showing ads, they're not making money. This is a tough choice, do you take the risk and keep the kid happy or do you find another game? As a non-parent its easy for me to say 'Teach them that you can't always afford to get what you want' .. but I'm sure a parent would see both sides of the question clearer than I.</div>
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Secondly, always have a password for your purchasing. Change it every once in a while. I'm not a parent but my observation is kids are ninjas and you never know what lurks in the shadows watching what you're doing. I had a friend as a teen who had a collection of phone cards numbers from watching people punch in the numbers at pay phones. And teens are not as observant as eight year olds! </div>
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Thirdly, turn on your email notification. Almost all apps have a return time guarantee. If X was purchased and you didn't mean to or want to or whatever, you can almost always get a refund. This often has the side effect of your game getting reset back to scratch, but its also not going to cost you the $500 bill in gems. If you get your phone back and you have half a dozen purchase notifications, you better get on returning/requesting refunds while you threaten your child's continued existence. (Jokingly, of course. Or at least, I always assume my mother was joking..)</div>
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Fourthly, and probably the most importantly, don't store your credit card info with the Play store or iTunes. If the person using your phone can't just type in a password to approve a purchase, it makes it a bit hard to purchase. I, personally, have this set up this way purely so I can't do impulse purchases! If I REALLY want that game of Bubble Blast (or whatever) I have to go down to Future Shop, buy a game card, and then use THAT. Let me tell you, it's amazing how many games I don't actually want that badly. (If Guitar Hero is ever available on Android, however, I may be in trouble.)</div>
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I don't think this situation is the fault of the OS operators or the app programmers. Its a perfectly viable business model. It's not a trap. You are perfectly able to say "No, I'm not giving you money." and enjoy the free version. Its perfectly within your power to protect your wallet before you hand your phone or tablet over to your kids. I don't think the government needs to protect us, I don't think we need to stick programmers on stakes and threaten to light them on fire if they don't change, and I don't think its anyone's fault. Its a mixed bag, and with some precautions, its perfectly okay to let your kid play Smurf Village or whatever.</div>
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Although, I admit any game that REQUIRES me to purchase something to finish one of the in-game tasks gets deleted pretty quick. I'll stick to the free games that just means you can speed up the game, or add some pretty shinies, or whatever. I do consider the require to pay to get past a certain point ones bait and switchy.. and of course, you don't know which ones those are until you get to that point.</div>
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Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-23730571419419555372013-07-23T17:34:00.005-07:002013-07-23T17:35:06.142-07:00[Political Rant Cont.] My brother (@Maniac1655) has an irritating habit..<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-FEJfjKJUuny9EiAJgXJ2Dllk_QGK-5B78iSt7C7NpoJ_SkLljhhwMEPi83q82dwfAiGEjfXtdYzwirOcLwJFNWGzdxZhD4jYtB_EKMZHov2i71PqTbovirqS8AvyN4Zx7Vpf6rmGGfO/s1600/Brother-and-Sister.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEii-FEJfjKJUuny9EiAJgXJ2Dllk_QGK-5B78iSt7C7NpoJ_SkLljhhwMEPi83q82dwfAiGEjfXtdYzwirOcLwJFNWGzdxZhD4jYtB_EKMZHov2i71PqTbovirqS8AvyN4Zx7Vpf6rmGGfO/s320/Brother-and-Sister.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />(No, not actually me and my brother)</div>
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My brother has an irritating habit. Well, he has several, but since I have twice as many as he does I'm not going to start a listing them contest. In this case, his irritating habit is to see past the rhetoric, the emotion, the flag waving and point out the heart of the matter.</div>
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In this case he said :</div>
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<a href="https://twitter.com/Shadowydreamer">@Shadowydreamer</a> If the athletes want to give up their dream to protest Russia, that's their choice. The COC shouldn't ruin their dream.<br />
— David Appleby (@Maniac1655) <a href="https://twitter.com/Maniac1655/statuses/359813675487465472">July 23, 2013</a></blockquote>
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And he's (irritatingly) right. While our government CAN (and I still think SHOULD) say "We do not support Russia and their latest actions" and take political stances, it IS up to the individuals to choose.<br />
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I started to weight that comment, with my obvious bias, and sighed at myself. Its very easy for this armchair athlete to dictate what should and shouldn't be done by others. My biggest commitment to fitness or physical competition is walking for exercise. I try to maintain a 15 minute per mile speed and try to keep to a point where my leg doesn't collapse and I land on my face. (I have a hard limit of just over 5 miles. My soft limit is entirely variable on how lazy I am.) This is not even a drop in the well compared to what Olympic athletes go through and I know it.<br />
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Its so very easy for me, a hetroflexible, white, disabled, woman to say, "Give up your dream in the name of rights and freedoms of others in a gesture that may or may not accomplish anything significant." I can't even begin to imagine the heartbreak involved in making that decision. "Do I do this for my teammates who are gay? Do I do this because I am gay? Would getting arrested on the world's stage make a bigger statement than my saying I'm not going? Would.." So many things to consider that have no answers when they're considering throwing asside everything they've worked, dreamed, sacrificed and lived their lives for<br />
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But I still think our government should decry Russia like a tonne of bricks. If it were racial, you know they would be.<br />
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Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2883743250603739855.post-55543055927864286312013-07-23T15:52:00.001-07:002013-07-23T15:52:50.149-07:00[Political Rant] Just say no to Sochi.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB2NVV0p-R7JBIf6xbIUzB4lurSeu4kgKDz9NKFVB_uZYmeWnmT9pc4828E-HhmkqCmWOrNjncUlfu5ELKY990YX6DHgSo3xpR3pgUUkNHeq-Zt-3KZxQ74oBr4BlPShROfxj6giAAmkXR/s1600/nosochi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgB2NVV0p-R7JBIf6xbIUzB4lurSeu4kgKDz9NKFVB_uZYmeWnmT9pc4828E-HhmkqCmWOrNjncUlfu5ELKY990YX6DHgSo3xpR3pgUUkNHeq-Zt-3KZxQ74oBr4BlPShROfxj6giAAmkXR/s320/nosochi.jpg" width="317" /></a></div>
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As do many Canadians, I love the Winter Olympics. I love watching our athletes
go forth with 1/10th the funding and government assisted training of many other
countries and just go kick ass. I love watching our little population provide
these amazing people of heart, soul, strength and wonder who go forth to glory.
I even love watching the athletes from other countries who have sweat blood to
get where they are. A trip to the Olympics isn't handed on a diamond encrusted
platter, you have to work, dream, and drive to get yourself there no matter how well funded you are. This is the view of my heart when I stand on the platform and say Canada needs to boycott these Olympics.</div>
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If Russia suddenly said "We're not allowing black people or anyone
suspected of being black to be in our country," we would be horrified, we would
refuse to participate and we'd probably trade blockade Russia in a heartbeat.
I'm not actually sure how much trade we do with the great bear, but the gesture
should be made even if its empty. </div>
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Its unfair to the athletes who dreamed; its more unfair to the athletes who
are gay and may be arrested. I guess that's one way for Russia to win all the
medals, just accuse half the athletes of being gay and arrest them. The IOC are
busy promising it won't matter, but does anyone actually believe the IOC? I know
I don't.</div>
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The problem is, we're scared of Russia. We're scared of rocking the boat.
She is a large, populated, very powerful nation. She is also not
going to get any less so, and the longer you let the Russian government (aka
Putin) make the rules that choose the minorities to pick off, the worse its
going to get. We need to take a stand, we need to do it now, and we need to
protect the people who are not being protected.</div>
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But you don't have to just take my word for it, you can take someone else's
: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/22/opinion/russias-anti-gay-crackdown.html?_r=3">http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/22/opinion/russias-anti-gay-crackdown.html?_r=3</a>&
or you can just look at the pictures : <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/photos-from-russia-everyone-needs-to-see">http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/photos-from-russia-everyone-needs-to-see</a>
But try not to be eating when you do.</div>
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No to the 2013 Sochi Olympics, no to anything Russian until their
government rejoins the 21st century.</div>
Scout and Sagehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15257537604493754361noreply@blogger.com0