Wednesday, July 31, 2013

[Personal Rant] Just because I'm nice - It does not mean I want to have sex with you.

Somewhere in the last five years or so, I've noticed that if I am nice to a person, particularly a geek male, it seems they will think that I am hitting on them or expressing an interest in them. Not all geek males by a long shot, but its a large enough percentage that I've pretty much stopped flirting with anyone.

In short : I am happily, completely, and madly in love with my boyfriend.

I have no interest in trading him in. I have no interest in exchanging him. I have no interest in any other being on this planet sexually. Okay, maybe John Barrowman, but he doesn't want me so that's immaterial. No, my boyfriend isn't perfect.. but here's a major revelation; neither am I. I am selfish, demanding and an attention whore. I don't want money, I don't want things, I want TIME and I want ATTENTION. Do you know how freaking hard it is to shop for someone who doesn't want THINGS? I don't per say, but I get told it's seriously NOT FUN.

I would rather twenty minutes a day every day than twelve hours on one day. I would rather ten minutes than ten dollars. Not that you can pry my Stitch plushies out of even my cold, dead, hands.. Mostly because that shows he was thinking of me. But, physical gifts that mean something are far and few between.

To get back on topic, just because I drive out to have coffee with you at 0330 because your marriage failed does not mean I want to have sex with you. Just because I spent five hours listening to you talk about problems and being a sounding board when I had no real advice to give you does not mean I want to have sex with you. Just because I did any number of genuine nice person things does not mean I want to have sex with you. Just because I listened to you brag about your sexual prowess for hours, does not mean I want to experience said sexual prowess myself. I did those things because that's what friends do.

It didn't matter than you were male or female. It didn't matter that you are someone I've never met in person. It didn't matter that you just spent the last three days kicking my ass from one end of the battlefront to the other and back .. wait, that one might.. I take my PvP pretty seriously. Regardless, its because I'm a nice person.

I don't have a lot of close friends, people I confide every thought to. Actually, I don't have any of those. Only my boyfriend gets the unfiltered me, and he's the first ever. I don't have much of a filter it has two modes ; on or off. I am either willing to talk about it with most or talk about it with no one, excluding him. The fact that I'm willing to tell you the generals about my frustrating day just means you were one of the first friends to ask, it doesn't mean you're my closest confidant and I'm wanting to change you from friend to naked mambo partner.

I have a lot of people I consider 'general friends' .. the people I'm happy to chat with, do favours for (non-sexual :P ) and basically hang out with. If those people don't ever really return that, then they tend to get shuffled off for new people. If you're one of the new people - it's because you seem to be a genuine nifty person. If you're one of the old people - it's because you are a genuine nifty person. No rocket science is hidden here. If you start hitting on beyond playful banter, you might see me edge away. I will drop polite hints of 'not interested' or 'Boy, I love my boyfriend, he's so awesome.' or finally just say 'You know I don't want to have sex with you right?" The last tends to ruin friendships, but there comes a point where the attention has just gotten creepy and stalker feeling.

I don't think every man or woman wants to have sex with me. I don't even think one percent of the people I've met who could biologically be sexually interested in me are. This is addressed purely to those who think "Hey, she's kinda hot and I think she like-likes me," .. the answer is no, I' really don't. I'm just a nice person and you're someone that is either a friend or I feel could use a friend.

Disclaimer : If you're my boyfriend. I do totally like-like you and think you're hot and that you should be here right now. Everyone else -- no.

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